Today 

  

  

  

 AGAIN
 
days by days.. and months by months
i thought it's easy to wait .. and if i do my best .. i will success as always.. but i miscalculated the formula
by the time i figure it out.. i already have mess my life ..and destroy my self
 
one year and half.. i decided to work .. and as any new graduated.. i will accept anything,..
after 7 months of searching.. I've joint a career which is not related to my passion.. and as all the people say .. "it's ok".. no one find the job these days.." you are lucky"
Lucky .. this is what i thought in the beginning.. but after i joint another branch.. it's been a complete opposite.. i try to endure it .. cause as all the people including my family and friends ..say  "you are lucky to find a job these days. especially with your salary".. days by day .. months by months.. i felt depressed, like i'm falling to the ground .. no body heard my scream (complains) they thought i'm happy ... and they may envious me .. but i was fooling them .. and fooling my self.. my passion .. my studies.. my self.. i felt i'm losing all that .. especially in the new branch.. EVEN the most nearest person said that i'm exaggerating it.. so i decided to join my friends and study master (MBA) it would be interesting to learn about my new work more and more and that could make me love it and in the result success on it .. it was all calculated and the new plan was already clear to me, but it was a fail plan like the other.. what happened to me ?, i thought  maybe because it's not only working with extremely uncomfortable area, with no interest in that field.. but also working with something against my religion.. it's been killing me that feeling.. but i didn't feel it that strong until the last Ramadan.. i cried every night .. i was sick every week .. that doesn't make my judgment clear.. until i relied to Allah ..and i thought AGAIN
 
what did i miss calculate ?? what did i do to make it this end ?? how did i make it wrong??
 
i can miss one ...twice .. but not all the time
my life is punishing me.. so i do something wrong
AFTER one year and half .. i've decided to change AGAIN.. and go back to my old self that i forgot ..
SO ... after calculating again.. with helping of all i can get.. i've decided to quit .. quit everything that not related to my passion ... and start AGAIN.. a new beginning ..
where ALL what they say doesn't matter.. only a job that make my dream true.. this is what matter to me NOW
 
so what do u think ?? did i make a mistake again ??

To you all ..

AGAIN (FULL METAL ALCHEMEST)

 Have a Great WeekEnd

تحيــــــــــــــــــاتي

أولا................................................... 

ثانياً................................................... 

ثانياً................................................... 

والحمد الله وصلت على صلاة العصر

كل عام وانتم بخير .. واعادها الله علينا في صحة وعافية

اول يوم رمضان .. كان متعب للبعض .. وممل للبعض .. بس بالنسبة لي .. فكان بداية جديدة لي لحياة مليئة بالايمان ..

حسيت نفسي في الفترة الماضية مقصرة في جميع النواحي .. سواءا الدينية ..او الاجتماعية .. او حتى العلمية والعملية والنفسية

وكانت حجتي .. هي .. "ما عندي وقت" او "تعبانة من الشغل"..فحبيت اغير حياتي .. وكان هذا المخطط من قبل رمضان بشهر ..

بس كان بالتدريج ...

فحبيت في رمضان اني اتغير جذريا .. والله يعينني يا رب على التغير الى الاحسن ..

وبديت بترك الاغاني .. والاتجاه الى الاناشيد ..

وحفظ القرآن.. والاتصال الاجتماعي ..

والله يعينني على هذا ..

فماذا بالنسبة لكم ؟؟

Ohayooooo

i just want to post my design

it's inspired from the song

"Fix You"

Every night

 I think, I pray and I dream

I Think

I think of the world, like a giant box who everyone want to live inside, I've watch them, like i'm watching from outside, I see people is fighting for the best of their families, i've seen people who live the color of life, they don’t afraid to be themselves, i've seen people build the world from inside the office, i've seen people care about their friends as they are their children, i've seen a lot and yet a little,
I think I'm invisible, and my voice is not hearable, and my touch is never emotional, i'm like a robot with the blood, maybe no one want me to approach them, but from outside some windows, i can sense the needing of someone, and the silent crying from far away, that's why i'm still hoping that i could one day be useful, and maybe affecting the one's life, and who knew, maybe they will affect mine too.
That's why, every night, I open my windows, and keep waiting.....until the night is off.

I Pray

Every night, i remember people from the past, people from the day, and people who i love, i pray for god to help them, to answer their needs, i pray for every single one of them, my family, friends, even people i only met by a chance.
Some nights, i love to watch the dark sky, with all the stars above, i wish that all who i love stay with me that night, talking and laughing, and sleeping as the sunrise.

Once of every month, i pray that someone will remember me if i drop die in that night, and they will cry as hard as they could, because they lost me forever. Anyhow, my pray stop as i reach my limit and start to fall sleep.

I Dream

I dream that someday will come soon, and everyone got their goals, including me, I've dream that i will be someone who everyone loved, who everyone admire and respect, who everyone notice. I've dream of only one who think about me everyday. Not because anything s/he need me for, only because of me as person. I've dream of my own world, home, family, and friends, i've dream that i will be approached one day.. and the dream got to stop, because nothing could be more real than this dream.

Have a sweets dreams
&
Happy weekends

   3 things have change about me  

1{I cant do new things, my life become soooo routine,

i cant find the time for my space, forums, website, 

or even for animes & manga, the time has become too short

2{I become open to friendship, talking more than writing, seeing things from different angle..

the angle of work i guess. but in addition to that, i'm now a student of MBA, so 2 on 1 .. loool

3{ I change from inside homey person, to outside person,

spending the first 8 hours in my works, then the rest for my family..

but still coming back and study is the hardest things ever..

 
  3 days of stress 

for the last 3 days.. i've been very stress out because of my studying and projects, and between the work life, and student life//

it's really make me uncomfortable.. I'm feeling dizzy all the time, cant sleep, and i cant concentrate..

could u tell me why?

i found my answer in a simple word which is

 :stress:

Stress is a biological term which refers to the consequences of the failure of a human or animal body

to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats to the organism, whether actual or imagined.

It is "the autonomic response to environmental stimulus."

It includes a state of alarm and adrenaline production, short-term resistance as a coping mechanism,

 and exhaustion. It refers to the inability of a human or animal body to respond.

Common stress symptoms include irritability, muscular tension, inability to concentrate and a variety of physical reactions,

such as headaches and elevated heart

  3 days of remembering 

for the last three days, i become more aggressive, i only try to remember how did i turn to this person,

so i start remembering the days when i was in the elementary till the university.. really it wasn't that great..

there was once the theory that says that humans only remember the happy times.. i don't remember the happy times, is that make me a psycho??

BUT.. i really miss some people in my past.. i may not see them face to face.. or not talk to them on the phone.. or i may not chat with them on the msn

BUT .. i just want to tell them that you are always in my mind.. and in my pray.. may god help you and guides to the best

  MY LAST 3 WISHES 

1{may allah help me in the exam on 2nd of may

2{may allah help me to finish the project before the 4th of may

3{and may allah make my friends happy for this weekends

Happy Weekends

 

مع انقضاء العام 1429 وبداية العام 1430 وتتبعها بايام عام 2009 ميلادي
ارى انه قد حان الاوان لحسم وتصفية الحسابات لهذا العام

 الحمد الله 

I may not deserve it. So al7amdullah (Thank you allah)..

 
So, I made a list of questions to prepare myself for the new year.. 2009-1430

 GOOD BYE 2008-1429

  WELCOME 2009-1430

رمــــــــــضان كريم

 

HAVE A NICE DAY

I Need a                                

                                    Break Time