four year ago .. i was in the high school .. i was really quit girl.. not that much .. anyhow.. i met someone who i really appreciate.. and in the last day . when she said that she will leave.. i was really sad.. i know maybe i will not see her again .. but we kept in touch until now..

 

today was lucky .. i met my best friend .. she's doing fine..  i miss her and i miss my self back then .. i was different.. i was free girl who will to do every things.. anyway...she was sooo happy.. and me too.. i only met her at msn .. but i feel that our feeling and though let us met in personal..we didnt talk that much , i only could ask her some question and then she's off .. i want to talk her again .. and i wanna see her.. but no chance for us to meet .. well i hope i could go to her .. or she come to me .. but this day maybe will never came..

 

hope i could meet u ,,, until then i will say .. i miss u ...

 

good luck my best friend :_) .. you r always in my mind (final fantasy X )..

 

 

 i know it's a bit late to say , we are in summer season .

 

it's hot and it's sunny .. summer break the energy , i dont love this season .. although everything will happened in this day .. of course the vacation is most wonderful event happened in the summer every year ..

 

well , although it's summer , and the weather is very hot .. but i cant feel that hot , i'm bored and the lonely feeling is cover my heart ,, i feel cold inside .. hope it can be broken by the sun and the hot weather.

 

Now enjoy of the new change in my space

 

 

 

NADOMONAY.. means nothing happened in japanese. 

 

it's really fine.. i'm now worked as a trainer in this place which it's reallly boring until now .. nothing happened new .. i wanna changes and learn a lot of things .. but there's something i can't get it from my mind .. i'm totally confusing and depressed .. i try to open my heart to someone .. but i dont know why i can't .. and i'm really gooooooooooooood acter so if i didnt speak ... no one will know what's in my mind , or if i'm sad or not ..  i will still smile .. and even if i'm depressed and my chess is really heavy .. i cant open my heart and speak ..and i cant cry also ... so i'm always smile but in my heart something broken and hurt me .. so much ...

 

i need someone to hold my hand .. know what's in my heart .. and can read my mind... and speak for me... i know that allllllll my friends .. specially some of my dears friend .. try so hard .. i need them to keep trying,  to not give up ..i can only write the words that express my feeling .. cause my feeling is now behind the smile .. which is that mask, i always wear it .. and never remove it ..

 

 

 anyhow .. it's nothing i can say .. and nothing i can understand .. it's always the feeling that i feel, but never can show .. it's nothing in the end .

 

 

 

I started my vacation one week ago ...and with starting of the vacation i started my training , and it is fun until now .. i dont know but i have some comments want to share with you ..

 

from the day one.. saturday .. well, i was really really enthusiastic ... so i go and we all shocked including the workers...  cause the workers there expected 20 girls from our university .. but OF COURSE  no one show up except the four of us .. they call every body in our university to check about the other girls ... but in the end they discovered that no body will take the training except us of course.. so the whole organization was shocked .. and it was not very nice situation ... well it end with placing us with work .. which was very boring ..

 

in sunday .. i complete my job which is sorting and catogarizing the papers .. very boring job .. and never end .. i started this sorting stuff from the day one until wednesday .. i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it .. and it's not my specializing .. cause i'm IS(information system) student.. so what i'm doing is definitely not my job... 

 

in moday - tuesday .. it was the realizing day of our marks, anyway .. as usual i go to university to register my jobs and i see my marks.. actually in tuesday i get together with my friends and we ate dinner and talked about the things that happened in our work ..

 

in wednesday .. it was the very boring day i ever lived.. i couldnt see and talked with my friends in the work and i couldnt talked with them on telephone .. 

 

so for the overall picture of my work and vacation .. booooooooooooooring .. i hope the next week will be better ..